Later, when I was nineteen and we’d moved from our humble city of Ibadan, to the much posher burg of Lagos, where all the girls in my class had smooth hair and very white teeth, with well developed bodies, I made up another boy, adesoji,  Soji, my Boyfriend Back Home. Oh, he was so handsome (as proved by the photo in my wallet, which had been carefully cut from a children’s fashion catalogue). Soji’s father owned a really four star  hotel, soji and I were taking things slow…yes, we’d kissed; actually, we’d gotten to SS3 class, but he was so respectful that was as far as it went. We wanted to wait till we were older. Maybe we’d get preengaged, and because his family loved me so much, they wanted soji to buy me a ring, not a diamond but maybe a sapphire, kind of like Princess Diana’s, but a little smaller, with the little money he saves no matter how fake it will be,  so we could seal forever when we clocked 25.


Sorry to tell you, I broke up with soji about four months before my waec,  in order to be available to Lagos boys, My strategy backfired… lasgidi boys were not terribly interested. Because I was a flat ass, with no boobs, definitely, they liked my friend Mary, whenever her brothers  would pick us up,  once in a while, when they were home from college, their  friends would fall silent at the mere sight of her sharp, glamorous beauty when ever she enters the car,  But I stayed unattached, wishing I’d never broken up with my fictional boyfriend, missing the warm curl of pleasure it gave me to imagine such a boy liking me.


Hostel life is awesome, being in a room with a lot of pretty ladies with different approach to life, some came to pass through school,while others intend school to pass through them, Down bunk is the best, although I am not used to bunk but it was manageable,as a fresher you are not meant to have a lot of friends, you are entitled to 2 or 3 friends, you just got into school besides, people are still forming levels.


My bunkie of life basirat, is a lazy big bum-bum law student, she doesn’t even care about school,all she knows is natural hair goals and to subscribe to all the natural hair YouTube channels.We talk about guys for sport, she is the closest friend I have right now, although kemi my course mate, we pretty close too, but she isn’t a Hollywood lover, so she sees us as wierdo’s ,when we talk about their celebs,instagram gist and play trap music.

Instead she is the wierdo, lol, please who doesn’t like gist? Basirat is hip and updated, she is all I need right now apart from God and fine guys. Kemi being the quiet one didn’t stop her from discussing about hot guys when needed, she can be mute for hours until we start talking about guys, we sometimes change topic on purpose so she can talk and we can all sync, isn’t it just implausible.


Just so you know I am not a virgin I popped my cherry at 20, give me credit Mary popped hers at 16, Speaking about the non-virgin thingy,I must say I don’t really have a sex adventure, I have never really explored, being in school is a whole new ball game, all I need is a serious boyfriend not just imaginations, I am honestly tired though. Lol! .

I will tell my friends, that my big  cousin “Lisa” once said one day I will literally choke and get in trouble because of guys. Let’s face it, I made that up, my parents were the only child of their parents too. Sounds unbelievable but I am not lying, I made very hot lies with different name of my imaginary cousin’s. Lol!  I have just distant cousin’s though, that never visited.


Speaking of hot unilag boys, one sunny Friday afternoon, no class so I decided to eat at one of the fast food restaurant inside campus, I ordered for rice and beef, I was saving to get an iPhone 6 plus, I      was all about the status symbol and i was holding my bottle of Ribena with my greatest aphrodisiac inside “codeine” I forgot to mention this, but I love codeine to smithereens, I carried my food tray and looked for a very comfortable place to sit, I didn’t matte my wig, So my hair strands flew around my face, thanks to the standing fans everywhere, I kept scanning for a perfect seat.

Just like that, i saw a very handsome chocolate skin dude, his beards were one to always remember almost like drake’s beard in hot-line-bling, I walked towards his seat, he was wearing a red vintage t-shirt, and a very expensive wristwatch, I didn’t see his foot wear, his legs were right under the table but I bet it was expensive too. He looked like good people, and one with a no ruffle policy because he was carrying a straight face, which increased my pulse, His favor impregnated my lungs and choked me in a good way, I tried to guess the name of the perfume “I swear it is one of those expensive Gucci perfumes ” I thought.

Another thing I didn’t mention, I also have good taste for expensive male perfumes ,I really can place some expensive but common ones, its one of my potentials and strategy in getting a really classy guy raise eye brows, Dropping my plates on his table “Excuse me please is this seat taken” I didn’t even wait for him to answer me, I already sat shining teeth, He didn’t bother looking at me he just gave the “no” sign with his head and continued pressing his phone, I just smiled and started eating, But the thing sincerely pained me, I ate my rice quietly ” I am Sade, what’s your name”  I finally broke the silence, Smiling sincerely, more wider than before, because I knew my bitchy side just manisfested,the guy still didn’t answer, he just ignored me and continued pressing phone.


I started boiling inside, just like a volcano about to erupt, but then like a flash I saw the guys mouth wide open like he was trying to say something, I just hissed, but he soon started tapping his legs with his hands, I got confused, I just stared hard piercing his soul with my eye for few seconds. Immediately I smirked standing up, picked up my tray and moved to the next seat, as I sat,  I rolled my eyes flicking my hair backwards saying “Fucking stammerer”.

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